
I write this because I want to share my ordeal with Atrial Septal Defect. I also want to help and share some information to people who are also suffering from this kind of heart disease.
I remember when I was just a child that I am so active, playful, alive and has full of energy. My favorite game at that time was Cats and Dogs it is a game where the dogs runs after the cat so basically the game involves running but I never had a problem with that because I'm a good runner. I also remember that I was a consistent honor student and very active in participating with school activities. Based on that you could probably say that I have a normal and happy childhood and I was just another normal kid but then your wrong because I maybe active and energetic but my physical condition was so pitiful. I could still picture out my physical condition at that time, I was so skinny, short, less hair (but not like cancer patient) and big dull eyes. I remember that some of my classmates would call me names like "skeleton". I was hurting then but I am a fighter I would call them names also so we end up fighting. But what was more painful for me was the things that my parent's friends said and asked to me, they will say and ask "Why are so skinny are you not eating well?", "You look like your not eating" and "You got everything but why do you look malnourished". For me their comments were the most hurtful one because even they say things like that there's nothing I can do but to respect them because they are my elders not like when my classmates tease me because I can tease them back. My condition at that time was more hurtful to my parents because I am there only child and they had given me everything but still there's nothing they can do about my situation. I have everything, complete nutrition, enough rest, complete vitamins and monthly check-up in fact I have 2 pediatrician but still my condition does not change. All laboratory tests were done but they were all normal. The only two important things that were not done were X-ray and ultrasound because my doctors did not suspect that I have a heart disease because my heartbeat was normal and I maybe pale but not cyanotic and I'm very active so who would suspect that I have a heart disease. Maybe if we have done chest X-ray at that time maybe my ASD was detected earlier but past is past. Because my doctors did not found any unusual findings, we decided to stop asking questions because it was also tiring on my part and we think that maybe it's in the genes because my mother was also thin when she was young.
We never try to seek any medical findings again until when I was 16 yrs. old. What happened was, I was about to enter college and one of the requirement for enrollment was to submit a chest X-ray and there we found out that I have a suspected cardiovascular disease. We went to a cardiologist and he said that we need to perform 2D-echo ultrasound so that he could clearly see what's going on inside my heart and so we performed the procedure but my doctor was so surprised because he did not found any unusual condition with my heart according to him he was looking for a hole in my heart because my x-ray result suggested that I may have hole in my heart but to his surprised he could not see anything. My cardiologist suggested another procedure called TEE (Transesophageal Echocardiogram) this procedure is more accurate than ultrasound.
We did not performed the TEE because I thought that there's nothing wrong with myself because I never experienced any symptoms of this disease so I thought I was fine and that time I was already contented with my body because ever since I have my menstrual period my body structure changes a lot from skinny to fatter sexy lady and even though I'm shorter for the average height for my age I did not care because for me my shortness is the reason of my cuteness....and also we never performed the TEE because I was already accepted in the university and I was too busy preparing for the opening of classes and all I wanted to do is to focused on my studies nothing more. I finished my four year course without suffering any symptoms of my ordeal.
Until last year when I started to have severe back pains. I always complain this to my mother that's why every Sunday we have therapy session in our house . My therapist got curious and started asking me questions so I told her that before I was diagnose to have cardiovascular disease but there was no specific findings of what kind of cardiovascular disease it is.My therapist told me that it is better that I will seek for medical opinions to make it sure because she was suspecting that my heart disease was the one causing my back pains. I followed her advice because I thought it was the right time to answer the question of the past.
We went to my cardiologist again and this time we performed the TEE. At first I was so scared maybe because my cardiologist did not explained well to me the procedure so I got shocked that I have to be IV and it was my first time to be IV. Later, when I saw the fear in my parents eyes I felt that I have to be brave for their sake. Through the TEE my doctor dropped the bomb he confirmed to us that I have ASD ( Atrial Septal Defect) and my cardiologist continue to dropped bombs he told us that the only way to cover the hole in my heart is through Open Heart Surgery.He also added that it is important to cover the hole because if it will not be covered it will cause pulmonary hypertension and too much pressure on the lungs might cause the lungs to collapse. I just laugh without thinking the seriousness of my disease, how can I possibly undergo open heart surgery when in simple procedure like TEE I got scared already so what more for Open Heart Surgery.At that time we were not satisfied with the findings of my doctor that's why we seek for a second opinion.
We hear from my aunt that my 2nd degree cousin was diagnose with PDA (Patent Ductus arteriosus) and she underwent Cardiac Catherization and now she is doing well. We contacted the doctor of my cousin and we performed TEE again and he has the same findings with my first Doctor but the good news was that Cardiac Catherization was applicable to my case and he added that I have 80% success rate with Cardiac Catherization.
Last April 2008 I was scheduled for Cardiac Catherization. I have 5 doctors on my team 2 Cardiologist, 1 pulmonologist, 1 anesthesiologist and 1 expert doctor on TEE. I'm a little bit scared but I was so hopeful that the procedure will be successful. The time has come, I spent 4 hours in the Cath Lab and after 4 hours I was brought back to my room. When I woke up I was so curious that not even one of my doctors came to me and explain what happened so I asked the nurse where are my doctors and they replied "Ma'am they are talking to your family" then I asked my nurse if the procedure was successful and they replied "Ma'am just wait for your doctors to explain what happened then at that time I begun to suspect that the the procedure failed.And, my suspect became reality when my mother told me that the procedure failed because they can't attached the amplatzer on the whole because there is a certain part that was so thin that the amplatzer can't be attached and if they forced to attached it the amplatzer would really fall and that's more dangerous because it would cause blockage in my heart and it will put my life in a life and death situation so there's nothing they can do but to pull out the amplatzer.
Later after my mother told me the bad news,my attending physician came to my room and told me the situation of my heart he explain to me why the procedure failed he told me that aside from ASD my heart is abnormally positioned that's why they have difficulty in attaching the amplatzer. He also said that my heart occupies a bigger part on the right side than the usual. He told me that there is no other way to cover the whole but through open heart surgery and we need to do it as soon as possible because the hole in my heart is growing bigger and bigger and the pressure in my lungs is increasing that there's a big possibility that it would reach to a point that even surgery can do nothing. He also added that it was the best time to have an open heart surgery because I'm still young (24 yrs.old) so my body can easily recover and he also said that all my other vital organs like kidneys, lungs and liver were in good condition that's why he gave me 99 % assurance that the procedure will be successful. But at that time I'm losing my trust in him because during the Cardiac Catherization he gave me 80% success rate and 80% was so high but still the procedure failed. I don't know what to do at the time so I told my family and doctor to gave me some time to think about it and some time to recover from my previous failed procedure.
All my life I never felt so confused until that time. Before I always feel lucky and love by God because I always have everything but now I feel so unlucky. I asked God why me I'm so young , I have a bright future ahead of me and then in one moment I need to have an Open Heart Surgery for me to live a longer life . I can't understand how my life changes in a moment. But later I realize that why should I complained this is just a very light ordeal compare to other like those children who have cancer there's so young but unfortunately they have incurable diseases. Then, I realized that all these years my life was been a miracle because I never suffered the extreme effect of ASD. I felt so lucky and thankful to God because even though I have this disease in me, I did live a normal life.Another realization hit me, this time I realize why I'm so confused and scared it's because I never gave my whole trust to the ALMIGHTY GOD but instead I put it in the hands of my doctors. Then, I remember what my doctor said to me he said "We are not the one who will heal you but someone up there". I realized that nothing is impossible with him and everything will be alright as long as you trust him. God is good. He is always there for me and I know that he will never forsake me at this time of my ordeal.I know God will guide me through out this ordeal. My fears and doubts were all vanished they were all replaced with determination and strong faith with God.
I made my decision, I told my parent's and doctor that I'm ready for Open Heart Surgery and I'm not scared anymore because I trust the lord and for me it's "THY WILL BE DONE".
We did my open heart surgery last May 8,2008 and with God's grace I survive my ordeal. My doctors were so happy because the operation went smoothly and they were so surprised that my vital signs were so stable that right after the operation they don't need to connect me to the ventilator. Then they told me nothing is impossible to God's power.
I'm so thankful to my family, doctors,nurses, friends, classmates and teachers who prayed for me and never leave by my side...
Through this ordeal I met so many people and learned so many things not only in medical aspect but most especially I learned so many lessons in life that made me stronger and better person. And also through this ordeal my family became more closer and stronger. But the most important lesson I learned from this ordeal is to realized that God is so powerful and kind that if you ask something to him he will give it to you as long as it is good for you. Nothing is impossible with God's power just gave your trust to him and everything will be alright.